Potty Training Magic- 4 Strategies to get your child comfortable on the toilet.

The time will come for your kid to ditch the diapers and start using the potty,, but this transition is definitely not an easy one. The first thing you should be focusing on to successfully potty train your kid is getting them comfortable and relaxed while sitting on the toilet. If they aren’t experiencing this kind of environment, you can’t expect them to eliminate anything. They will not budge!

So here is some potty training magic for you! Below you’ll find 4 tried, tested, and true strategies that you can use to relax your kid while they’re on the toilet:  

Strategy #1: Glitter Jar

My kids have been loving glitter jars lately! They are super easy to make, fun to use, and most importantly they’re cost effective. All you’ll need is: a plastic or glass bottle (preferably plastic since it’s safer), water, clear glue, and a whole bunch of glitter. Throw all of that into the bottle and voila you have yourself a glitter jar! It’ll be super calming for your kid to watch the glitter fall.  

Strategy #2: Projector Toys 

Another go-to I use with my kids are projector toys, which can come in all shapes and sizes. All you have to do is turn the bathroom light off, click the on switch, and colourful projector lights will be all over your walls. No worries if you don’t have a projector toy, flashlights and laser beam pens work just as well!

Strategy #3: Music

Listening to music is extremely relaxing on your kid’s mind and body. Music can go as far as slowing their heart rate to make them more at ease while sitting on the toilet. You can include them in the process and make a playlist of their favourite songs and then they can listen to it whenever they use the bathroom.  

Strategy #4: Moonlite Story Projector 

Moonlite is a story book projector for your mobile phone and it has been a game changer in my house! You simply clip the photo-reel onto your phone’s camera and project your kid’s favourite story books onto the walls. It’s a total win-win situation since they’ll also be exercising their brain!

My one piece of advice to you is to remember that what works for one might not work for another. It’s best to think first about what relaxes your child on a daily basis and then introduce that into the bathroom environment. 

 If you need more comprehensive support around toilet training then book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can start developing a plan for you.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. for additional parenting strategies and support make sure to join my online community Behave it or NOT! or follow along on Instagram @cori_stern

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The Beauty of Visual Schedules.

Quick question for you. How many times a day do you look at your schedule, calendar, or agenda?

I don't know about you but one of the first things I do every morning is open my daily calendar. I always need to review what's on tap for the day so I can mentally prepare myself and have an idea of how my day is going to be structured. This grounds me big time

I also take a good glance at it every Sunday evening so I have a clear idea of what my week looks like.

I would feel 100% completely lost without my calendar.

I don't only have 1 calendar- I have multiples!!! Call me cray.
I have a calendar for work, each of my kids, family stuff, and birthdays.

If I had to rely on my own memory to keep me on track and organized I'd be doomed in seconds.

You probably wouldn't be reading this and we wouldn't probably wouldn't be friends because I wouldn't be so on top of my shit with work.

So here's the deal.... Our kids are NO DIFFERENT!

To be successful, they need predictability!

To feel grounded, they need to know what's expected of them!

To stay focused, they need a plan!

They need a routine, just as much as we need it. Maybe more.

Visual schedules are one of the most powerful tools I use to help my children build routine in their daily life.

I like visual schedules A LOT.

They work as mini calendars for our kids.

They are EXTREMELY effective for kids.

Why you ask? Great question!

because they're concrete.

because kids can glance at them and review them anytime.

because they create a sense of empowerment for kids.

because they don't negotiate. kids can't get into a power struggle with a visual schedule.

This takes a lot of pressure off of parents to be the broken record to keep reminding their kid to do something.

I hate having to ask my kids to do something more than three times. That's where my patience wears thin.

I rather direct them back to their visual schedule then me raising my voice and losing my cool.

the best part about all of this is that once your kid has enough repetition and practice following the visual schedule- they likely will go into autopilot and Ta Da! learning has happened.

Visual schedules don't have to be fancy or high tech. You can grab scrap paper and write out a schedule for your kid if their reading or you can use stickers or simple drawings to create one.

Here's an example of a visual schedule one of my clients recently create for her 6 & 7 year old. It's so simple- she's sticks it on the fridge. She creates them daily or reuses them if she can! Her kids love coming home to check the schedule on the fridge. She also feels like it helps reduce a lot of the stress she experiences at home between the hours of school ending and bed time.

Here’s another example of a visual schedule I use with my kids for their morning routines. They are slightly different than each other because we’re currently toilet training my son so we’ve built in a potty break into his morning routine to make that a regular thing for him.

Here’s your homework. Choose one part of your day that you find stressful. Take out a piece of paper and create a visual schedule for your child. Review the schedule with them- you might have to put in a bit of teaching time but trust me…. short term pain for long term gain. It’s a huge win.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. If you need any help with this in any way, then I want you to book in a FREE 30 minute Strategy call with me so we can get you started with this. I think every parent needs this one in their toolbox.

Stop the crying!

Today I'm sharing a strategy I use at home with my kids that's been extremely effective in helping them manage their emotions. a.k.a. a way of reducing a ton of unnecessary crying.

so you know when you're kid is playing and then all of sudden takes a spill and falls down. sometimes they're hurt, sometimes they're scared and sometimes they're in shock. ya?

well if you're living through the toddler or preschool phase right now then this is probably happening on the daily.

how do you respond to this?

Do you console them?

Tell them they're ok?

Let them just cry it out?

I'm mean sometimes it's hard to know if they've really hurt themselves or not. What I do know is that sometimes the cry is so loud and shrieking that I just want to make it STOP!

Sometimes, we don't necessarily see the exact fall but hear the aftermath of it.

I'm always trying hard to provide the emotional support my kids need but I don't want to coddle too much or be overbearing because I want them to learn how to communicate their thoughts and feelings when emotions rise. However, when they're physically hurt I obviously want to give them the care they need.

So... how do we know if they're actually hurt or scared or insert another emotion. Sometimes a cry is a cry is a cry.

here's your answer. you ask them!

you have to teach this up but with a bit of practice you'll be shocked how quickly your kid (even in the midst of a complete outburst) can tell you exactly what's going on.

The second I hear crying from a fall or such I always react by hugging my child and then by saying "is it an ouchy or a scary?"

If my child responds by saying "ouchy" then I have them show me where the pain is and we address it accordingly (usually a kiss or ice pack does the trick)

If my child responds by saying "scary" then I always reassure them that they're ok and ask them if they're brave. Once the crying has calmed, I get them to repeat back to me "I am brave"- (I love affirmations)

Getting them to identify what's going on is an amazing way to build awareness around the emotions they're experiencing and it's also a great way to interfere with the crying #winwin

If you use this strategy consistently, you're child will start to expect you to respond this way and will then get to a point where they just come running to you crying saying "ouchy" or "scary".

This has been a lifesaver in our house, especially with my sensitive, emotional, and very clumsy 3.5 year old.

Give it and try and let me know how it goes.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you’ve got a toddler or preschoolers that refuses to listen to you or melts down easily when you ask them to do something then I’ve got something for you. These toddlers and preschoolers love a good power struggle!!! If you want to learn how to get your kid to listen to you without yelling or having to constantly repeat yourself then grab my FREE cheatsheet. It has 7 strategies you can start using right away!

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6 Back to School Tips For An Easy Transition.

Summer is almost over (sigh) and that means school is fast approaching! This week I am going to share with you a few of my favourite tips to get you and your family ready for the transition. The better you can prep your family, the easier those first few weeks back will be. I’ve already started working through most of the strategies with my family. Your turn!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #1: Create a solid morning routine!

I am NOT an early to rise person and neither is my family but the last thing I want is for my kids to be late to school. By creating a well-planned morning routine you can get out of the house on time with little to no bumps along the way (exciting right?!). Start practicing your back-to-school morning routine NOW!

I always pack backpacks the night before and leave them at the front door with the zipper wide open so all I have to do is plop the lunch box in. Sounds so insignificant but was a game changer when I started doing it. #backtoschool

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #2: Fake it until you make it!

If you’re feeling stressed or anxious about school starting than your child is likely going to pick up on this and follow suit. Consider how your own behaviour is affecting your child’s. Stay calm and positive in front of your child-even if you don’t feel that way inside. Let your child decide on their own if they’re going to have anxious feelings or not. 

P.s. feeling anxious about back to school is totally normal- especially for those who are sending their first child off to kindergarten! I’m 100% anticipating those back to school jitters myself.

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #3: Involve your kids during back to school shopping

Back to school sales are on!! Those sales hit a sweet spot, but that cart can’t push itself so make sure to involve your kids in your back to school shopping! This gives you an opportunity to talk to them about school while doing something that makes them excited for what lies ahead

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #4: Familiarize your child with their school 

Our kids thrive off of predictability. There’s no better way to make them less anxious for school than by visiting it! Play in the school playground and start walking or driving the route to school on your daily outings. Take pictures of your child’s school so you guys can look at them together. This is a great conversation starter!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #5: Get back into a good bedtime routine

Sleep is one of the most important players in a successful transition. Proper sleep hygiene is extremely important for growth and development. A well rested child will be more resilient through change. Start getting back into a good bedtime routine NOW! If you stretched bedtime over the summer, start to slowly shift it back in 15 minute increments until you are back to your regular. Starting Monday this will definitely be going down in the Stern house!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #6: Connect your child with their friends 

A familiar face will make a huge difference when your kid goes back to school. Try to schedule in a play date before school starts. I’ll be setting up a few playdates at our school playground so my daughter can reconnect with her classmates who she hasn’t seen in two months. Feeling connected to others plays a huge part in reducing anxious feelings, especially with transitions. 

You’ve got this!

-Cori

p.s. If you’re feeling stressed about the transition back to school? Worried your kid will be emotional and attached to your hip until you have to pry their hands off? If you find transitions challenging, let me give you solutions to make this one a little more seamless.  Book in a FREE 30-minute call so I can understand where you’re at. From one mama to another- I’m here for you! 

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ST🚫P the Whining!

Today's your day. I'm throwing you a bone. I'm giving you a few of my strategies on how to curb whining. In my opinion there's nothing more painful than listening to your child whine. 

The first time it happens.... ok fine.
The second time is happens..... I'm a bit annoyed but can deal
The third, fourth, & fifth time..... I'm about to lose my shit (and that's not good for no one) 🙅

Whining is one thing in my house that I don't tolerate. My threshold for it is extremely low. After a few times of hearing it, my body starts to tense, my jaw clenches and automatically my hair starts to frizz 😤 That's my fight or flight response to whining, ha!

Children use whining as a form of expression. It's an emotional outlet for them. It's a way for them to indirectly unload their feelings in a very annoying way (for lack of a better term).

There is some good new to this. Whining is a cue for us! It's a sign letting us know that our child needs our help to work through whatever feelings and emotions they are experiencing.

Some children whine when they're tired, some when they're hungry, and some when they're overstimulated. Some children whine when they feel challenged, defeated, and/or annoyed.

Now if you think your toddler or preschooler is going to very calmly and politely come up to you and say...
          "mom I"m feeling completely overstimulated because the tv is on, you and dad are talking loud, and my sister is running back and forth through the hallway with her toys, and I'm tired because I was at daycare all day today" ....then we need to chat.

It's more like... (read in whiny voice) "mummy, I can't hear the tv. mummyyyy, mummyyyy, ahhhhh, waaaa, muuuummy, I want to hear the tv, I can't hear the tv.

What you MUST know about whining, is the second you respond to your child by turning the tv up and lowering your voice at the same time, you have just reinforced the whining so you better believe it's going to happen again and again and again! Your child just struck gold! He got exactly what he wanted! 💥

We have to support our children in expressing their emotions. We have to support their emotional needs, and we have to teach them that whining is not an effective way of getting shit done.

Here's 3 ways to you can do that... It's time to say buh-bye to that whining noise!

1. Make your child aware
Children need to be made aware of their behaviour. Whenever my son or daughter whines I will immediately say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining". You have to give it a name, label it for them. Building awareness is the first part to curbing this behaviour. Labelling it once, won't do anything. You want to keep labelling the whining behaviour until you start to see some change happen.

2. Give your child an alternative action
Once you've started labelling the whining behaviour you need to give your child an alternative response to the whining. So if my child starts to whine, I will say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, you can use your big kid voice instead and ask nicely". Since this is an emotional response- we wouldn't want to send our child the message that they shouldn't express themselves so you can also say something like "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, if you're hungry please tell mummy you're tummy feels hungry and we'll get you a yummy snack". Modelling the appropriate response is really important here. Show them exactly what it's suppose to look like. They need that model.

3. Give another chance
Again, since the whining behaviour is a form of communication, we don't want to hinder it. We don't want our children to feel blamed or shamed for trying to express themselves. We want them to feel empowered to express their emotional needs. So when you're child starts to whine, you always want to give them another chance to practice the alternative behaviour you provided them with. Don't just shut them out and tell them to stop whining. That will just escalate things further and you'll end up in power struggle or melt down territory. I love the phrase "try again or do you want to try again". For example I'll say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, you can use your big kid voice instead and ask nicely, do you want to try again".

Try these out and stick to the script. After practicing these strategies consistently, you will see the whining behaviour start to decrease. We've used these strategies so much in my house that now all I have to say is "that's whining" and my kids redirect their response to a way more functional one! No more frizzy hair for me! (at least from the whining!)

I've got more strategies around this and any other behaviour that comes your way. If your feeling exhausted, stressed or defeated in any way then I want you to book in a FREE 30-minute strategy call with me. I've got solutions for you. Let's chat!

You've got this!
Cori

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