Should your child listen to you immediately?

This might be up for debate but I don't think your child should necessarily listen to you immediately when you ask them to do something.

Let's unpack this...

Your life experiences form your belief system.

Your belief system guides your thoughts and your thoughts trigger your actions.

That’s just how it goes.

Sorta crazy to think about how your own childhood experiences are guiding your daily parenting practices right now with your own child(ren).

So here’s the deal…. If you are constantly finding yourself in power struggle mode with your child it’s not because your child is bad or because you’re not a good parent.

It’s likely because you’re hanging onto the belief that when you ask your child to do something they should listen to you immediately!

There’s a whole generation of us that were parented this way. So that’s what we know!

Through your childhood experiences this became a part of your belief system. A belief that is now triggering power struggles in your home.

How realistic is this belief?

Your child is a tiny little egocentric human that has their own needs, thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that should be respected through your interactions with them (that's if you see them as their own person). This is especially true when you’re asking them to switch gears and move away from something enjoyable, motivating, and low effort.

When you approach your child like an object rather than a person, they feel that immediately and push back to regain a sense of control and connection.

PERSPECTIVE is the greatest trait any parent can have. This is what’s shifting parents from being the Power Struggler Parent to The Empowered Parent!

Beliefs can change, no need to keep getting stuck in this parenting trap.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If this resonates with you, click here and leave a comment to let me know so I can send you a really simple solution on how to get your child to listen to you when you need them to cooperate.

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Happy New Year!

I took some time off this holiday season to focus in on my family to really capture some much needed quality time. It was refreshing to disconnect and allow my self the space to reflect on what the heck just happened in 2020.

The truth is, 2020 was challenging AF. Emotionally, psychologically, physically and everything in between.

However, out of the challenges come gratitude, learning and resilience. So here are 7 of my 2020 lessons learned. Would love to know which of these resonates with you.

1. Always take the path of least resistance. What if it were easy, what would that look like? Let go of perfection. Ask for help. Take help when offered. If it's not necessary- pass!

2. Never let a tantrum/meltdown go to waste (I'm talking about our kid's not ours 😉 ) Hold on to it. Use it as a teachable moment. These are the moments that we need to grip on to. These are the moments when our children need us most. We need to show up for them most when emotions are high. They have no clue how to work through those emotions- Teach them! Embrace the tantrum! See it as a moment to nurture their emotional intelligence.

3. Pick your battles (and let it only be a few). Let go of a lot of the battles in the name of conserving energy for things that intentionally matter. I mean… I let my kid eat ice cream in the bath the other day! 🤦‍♀️

4. Stop apologizing. "I'm sorry I've been so M.I.A", “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.” “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your message right away.” “Ignore the mess.” “Don't mind my messy mom bun.” There were many times where I felt the urge to apologize for something. I realized the only reason I felt that way is because of the expectations I put into my own head that other might have of me. So stopped apologizing and amazingly nothing happened- won't be going back there :) I'm moving forward unapologetic.

5. Growing pains are inevitable and I've chosen to surrender to Growth. I'm ready to face the tests, challenges, battles, wins and losses (sometimes those all happen on a given day). I am here to advance myself as a person and mother, wife, daughter and friend. I do my best to level up. At the end of the day the challenges and tests are here to show me what I’m made of…

6. If you don’t like it, change it-- it’s that simple. I do this all the time. I make decisions, I'm a doer, an action taker. Say it, then do it! and if you don't like it, change it again. If something isn’t working for me, I have the right to change it. It's too easy to get stuck on auto pilot. I recognize that. That's worth a million bucks right there. My life = my choices, and choose happy. Don't forget to use your sticky notes along way- write it down and it's more likely to happen.

7. No one knows what you need better than YOU! For me this is everything because I sometimes have a very hard time communicating my needs and wants when I'm in an emotional state. It takes a lot out of me to articulate my thoughts when emotions are high. At the end of the day you know what makes you happy and you know what makes you feel good. Don't wait on anyone to deliver it to you on a silver platter (that's a bonus if it ever happens). Go out and get it. Make it happen. Take care of yourself.

I'd love to hear which of these resonate with you. Reply to this email and let me know.

As we start off 2021 I want to send a huge Thank You! your way.

Thank you for choosing to be here and for the support you've given me to continue to grow The Parenting Pack and my private practice.

Thank you for sharing your journey with me and for allowing me to be a part of yours.

Here’s to a very healthy and fulfilling 2021.

We've got this!

Cori

p.s. find a reason to laugh everyday. it's contagious. it's a stress buster, it feels good.

The #1 Strategy for Managing a Meltdown

There's nothing like a good old meltdown that makes you want to throw in the towel and schedule a day off (or maybe a few days off) from parenting.

Wouldn't that just be so great if we could schedule time off from parenting like we do for our jobs? #wishfulthinking

Today I'm sending out a big hug to all the parents that are currently dealing with high frequency meltdowns and tantrums.

It's tough.

It's stressful.

It's exhausting.

It can feel like you're stuck in a vortex of whining, screaming, crying, hitting, biting, kicking, and the list goes on...

Sometimes it feels like it's never going to stop

... and then when it does stop it feels like it can spark any second (walking on egg shells is no fun)

Sometimes you just want to cry (or yell) because you don't know what to do anymore and you feel like you're losing big time.

Feeling out of control totally sucks.

I've been there, I totally get it.

It's inevitable- our kids are going to have meltdowns. We can't avoid that- it's part of growing up. Our little people are entitled to their big emotions and they have to come out some way or another.

I'm going to share one simple tip that I want you to try next time your child throws it down.

Once the meltdown starts I want you to remove your child (as best as you can) from the environment where it started, move to a quiet space and work on co-regulating. Let them get it all out- let them scream and cry all they want.

Your job is to stay calm and show them you are regulating your own emotions. They need to see this to feel safe and secure.

They need to experience the boundaries you are setting around the emotional outburst.

They need to experience your regulation to be able to calm themselves.

This is what we call co-regulation.

YOU are the driving force here.

You have the ability to regulate- they don't.

They are relying on you here!

You can rub their back, hug them, or just sit there with them and reassure them that you're there.

They need your calm. Remember this next time you go to react with your own big emotions to their meltdown.

You can watch this short video were I go through a more concrete example of how you can practice this.

You've got this!

My #1 Mask Etiquette Strategy

We have officially welcomed the MOST unpredictable back-to-school season, which comes with so much uncertainty 😥

The good news is ...we've made it this far and the better news is...... we're going to continue to push through all this crap because we have no other choice.

Let's stay positive here!!! We can do this. (I think I tell myself this at least 4 times a day).

I'm manifesting positivity for all of us!

So with that said.... I'm focusing on the things that I have control of TODAY and one of those things happens to be teaching my kids how to handle their masks appropriately when they're in school.

Sounds like a no-brainer but there are so many things they need to know to keep them as safe as possible when I'm not there.

One of the most important things I'm teaching them right now is how to properly take their masks off.

Sound simple right?

Well most kids I've seen so far are pulling their masks off from the front and then right away touching their faces with the hand that had direct contact with the mask. This totally defeats the purpose of the mask 🤦‍♀️

So... teach your child to remove their mask from the ear loops!

Model it for them! You can also practice doing it hand-over-hand with them! Let them show you they can do it alone!

This is ONLY 1 of the many MUSTS that I'm focusing on with my own kids when it comes to mask etiquette. I need to know that I've done absolutely EVERYTHING I can to keep them as safe as possible when they're in the classroom.

I don't need that #parentguilt hanging over my head, and neither do you!

How to Reduce Guilt Around Screen Time

Lots of talks lately with how much guilt parents are carrying with the amount of screen time that their children are engaging in. Rather than letting the guilt overwhelm you, tell yourself that there’s a lot of good that can come out of watching tv. There is a lot of really good content out there! Just make sure to monitor the type of content your child is consuming so you feel better knowing that what they’re watching is good stuff. The content should be valuable, educational, and beneficial for their growth and development.

You can always extend it and ask them questions about what they learned from the shows they’ve watched. You can even ask your child to re-tell the story of what they’ve watched. Story re-telling in a really important skill, that helps build memory and narrative. Talk to them about the characters, their personalities, the setting of the story. Ask them questions about their favourite parts, parts they disliked, and whether or not they think it’s a good show.

I’ve rounded up some of my top suggestions that can be found on Netflix. They all hold some great educational content that I feel good about my kids watching. Try some out and see what your kid can learn!

5 Hacks to Get You Through the Week

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As we head into another week of being home with the kids I want to share 5 strategies that I've been using that are totally helping me survive. 

By no means are my days all rainbows and lollipops, but these 5 things have been very helpful in allowing me to juggle work and childcare, while maintaining a small dose of my sanity. 

Drum roll please 🥁🥁🥁

1. Prepping lunch during breakfast time- this has been the BEST thing ever. There's no better feeling than having lunch ready to go when lunch time rolls around. My kids are usually playing or watching tv while I get breakfast ready so I take advantage of them being occupied and go double duty on breakfast and lunch. This is extra beneficial when we are outside for a good chunk of the morning being active and they are ravenous by the time lunch rolls around

2. Structure zoom call with grandparents- We've being during a daily structured zoom call with grandparents where my kids pick 2-3 items each day and do a show and share with them. They each get to show 1 item at a time and ask/answer 2 questions/item. Grandparents get in on the fun and also pick items to show and share. We've also had the grandparents do story time with the kids (lots of kids stories they can follow along on YouTube). This buys me time to get some housework or work work done while they are engaged in a structured activity. This is a #winwinwin because I get some time to get stuff done, my kids are enjoying and the grandparents are getting some quality time. 

3. Structured clean up time!- I've share this once before and I'll keep sharing it because it's been a game changer for me. At 4:00pm each day, we stop whatever we're doing and tidy the house together. Instead of chasing my kids all day long to clean up their toys I leave it all to clean up time and we do it as a team. We go room by room and put everything back where they belong. I also take this time to do some dishes, a quick vacuum, and wipe down some surfaces. This is a great way to break up the day and the best feeling once everything is tidied! After this, I usually turn the tv on or send them outside to keep them from ripping through the house again. 

4. Weekly Schedule, posted!- My husband and I are both working from home right now and doing our best to tag team with child care. Each Sunday night I will take my low tech dry erase board and write out everyone's set appointments for the week- that's my client meetings and other work calls, my daughter's online tutoring and classes, my husband's meetings, etc. This way my husband and I can manage our expectations around child care without having to keep bothering each other about it. We both know who has what when, so we can schedule in other stuff in accordingly. The juggle is real!

5. Daily outing - I do my absolute best to get out of the house with the kids at least once a day. Whether it's a bike ride, walk around the block, or a drive I think it's important to leave the house daily so you don't feel like you're in a time-warp. This gives us an excuse to gift all the crafts we're doing at home, or deliver some baked goods to friends' porches.

Take it or leave it but I'd love you to choose 1-2 of these strategies and try them out this week. I'd also love to hear about some of the stuff that you've been doing at home to help you manage. I'm always looking to try new things with the kids. 

I hope you have a great week. Stay healthy!

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. We are just 1 week away from the  Transitioning Into Kindergarten event!!!! Come learn exactly how to prep yourself and your child for this huge milestone! There's lots you can do to get a head start while your kiddo is home with you! Sign up here!

Managing the Mess

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So during this pandemic I’m really starting to practice the art of “letting go”. This is a hard one for me because I always like to be in control. 

After the first few weeks of being home with the kids 24/7, I realized a lot of my stress was coming from the overwhelm that came from the constant mess and the power struggles that followed after I attempted to get them to clean up after themselves every 10 minutes. 

What I’ve concluded from that experience is that kids live in a world of play. That play should be as imaginative as possible and have no boundaries. They should be using play to explore the world, learn cause and effect, nurture their planning skills, strengthen their problem solving skills and build their language narrative. Who am I to interrupt that? This is exactly what they do at school in the early years.

If my kids are keeping busy, they’re happy and well behaved then why intervene??

With two working parents at home, it’s nearly impossible to keep a lot of structure during the day and consistent schedule everyday like they have at school so… in an effort to keep them learning through play and to keep my stress levels down, I’ve done 2 things that have made all the difference.

1. I’ve “let go” of this notion that they have to tidy as they go. I’ve accepted that this is just how it’s going to be to keep the power struggles from happening. This doesn’t mean it’s a free for all in my house- they still have to do their daily chores and responsibilities but when it comes to play (almost) anything goes.

2. I’ve implemented a new family rule called “clean up hour”- every day at 4:00pm we stop everything we’re doing and tidy! It doesn’t actually take an hour (maybe 15 minutes at the most- the name just sounded good so I went with it). We go through every room in the house that was played in and we put things away exactly where they belong (having a defined place for everything makes this process a lot easier). During this time we will vacuum, fold clothes and put away in drawers, wipe down surfaces if needed, put toys away, etc. This has ONLY been effective because I do it with them. I’ve also been very up front with them by setting the expectation that if they don’t put things away and take responsibility then I will throw things out. 

The combination of these two strategies has been unreal. It’s the one thing every day that happens at the same time in my house. By the time we are done our tidy up time, I honestly feel like a new person. It’s been a great way to break up the day. My kids have been incredibly responsive as I’ve tried my best to position this in a very empowering way. 

Once the house is tidy we stick to more structured activities that require little mess. TV time included!

New week, new strategy!

Give it a try. You’ve got this!

Cori

P.s. We are just under 2 weeks away from the 2nd annual Kindergarten Prep event. Learn exactly how you can use this time at home with your kiddo to prep them for this big transition. It’s time to sign up!

Making Bedtime Easier In Times of High Stress

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Last week in Behave it or NOT one mama had reached out to the group asking for support around getting her son to bed sooner so she could have those evening hours to herself. I’m so grateful she posted the following because she started a very important conversation.

I was able to completely empathize with her because I know if I don’t get those hours to myself my cortisol levels spike and my patience wears thin the next day. I NEED those hours to decompress and relax. On the other hand, the #momguilt is so real and it’s a terrible feeling to have to battle, especially when your own mental health is at stake. 

While some parents benefit themselves from lying with their children in bed, some parents have the opposite experience and it’s important that both approaches are respected as long as you’re doing what’s best for YOU and your well being.

For those of you who are looking for ways to make bedtime easier as we navigate through this pandemic, here’s a bunch of strategies I chatted through with Sleep Expert Amanda Jewson. As you watch the video pick 1-2 strategies to try out. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to do everything at once.

Stay Healthy! You’ve got this!

Cori

P.s.For those of you with 2016 babies who entered the ticket GIVEAWAY contest for this year’s Transitioning Into Kindergarten Event- make sure to head over to Instagram (@cori_stern ) to catch the winner announcement tonight around 9:00pm (EST). 

How to Encourage Independence at Home

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I’ve had a bunch of requests come in recently from parents asking for strategies on how to encourage their child to do things by themselves so the mama/papa bear can actually get housework or work work done at home. 

...Or just be able to go to the washroom with the door closed in peace and quiet. This is a luxury nowadays.

This is definitely a skill that children need to be taught. We aren’t born with this inherent ability to be on our own. We are hardwired for connection and the need to feel a sense of belonging.  

Good news… with a little encouragement, and repeated opportunities to practice, you can definitely build this skill so you have some wiggle room at home. 

Here are 5 strategies to encourage your child to do things on their own;

1. Fill The Attention Bucket-  You always want to make sure your child is getting their 1:1 or family time in before you know you’re shifting the expectation for them to play or get tasks done on their own. It’s all about satiation and deprivation here. You want to make sure your child feels fulfilled in the emotional connection department before you send them off to be alone. This is a fundamental need we are all hardwired for so let’s always make sure the fundamentals are taking care of first. Spending 1:1 time or family time together should be focused on something enjoyable, that your child(ren) chooses, with little to no demands placed on them. For some families this is reading books, playing a game, cuddling in bed, looking at photos together and talking about memories, or even heading outside for a walk. 

2. Set Up The Playspace Like a Clock-  I used to use this strategy back in days when I was doing 1:1 behaviour therapy with kids. It works like a charm. Choose 4 activities that you know your child can 100% do. This can be simple crafts, cause and effect toys, building blocks, flipping through pages of books, puzzles etc. You are going to choose a play space in your home and put each of the 4 activities out in a circle at the same time. One will be in the 12:00 position, the other in the 3:00 position, 6:00 position, and 9:00 position. You are going to show your child the order in which they are going to play with the toys. You might have to do this a few times with them so they get the hang of it and understand the expectation (I would actually recommend this). You can space the activities out as close or far together as you like. Giving your child a structure for organizing their play is quite beneficial when they know exactly what to focus on. It’s less overwhelming for them. Always make sure to provide a lot of praise for following the plan!! You can take this strategy one step further and get them to choose the 4 activities they want to do if you find they’re often empowered by having choice.

3. Increase Expectations Over Time- Whether you are using the clock set up above or using your own structure, start off with small increments that they’re expected to play by themselves, slowly increase the expectation as the skill level increases. To do this, you can set a timer for them- there’s lots of great visual timers online or use a song/playlist to help them define the beginning or end of the play period. Start small so they can feel the success!!!!

4. Use a Visual Schedule- When you are setting them up to do things on their own, use a visual schedule so they have something to follow. You can create this on scrap paper, it doesn’t need to be anything high tech. If your child isn’t reading yet then draw simple pictures for them. Start off with 2-3 items on the list and increase the number over time as the skill increases. Tell them that you have a special job for them- they have to take their special treasure hunt list and complete each item on the list and then come show you it’s all done! Again, lots of praise for when your child follows along. Here’s an example;

5. Reserve Screen Time- save this for when you absolutely need it most and have exhausted all other avenues. Or...you can also reserve screen time to use in parts of your day that gives you a few minutes to set your child up with the strategies above.

If you want more strategies that are focused and specific to your child then book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can discuss options for support.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. If you are a 2016 parent then make sure to grab your ticket to Transitioning Into Kindergarten event. It's taking place May 3-6, ONLINE. Limited spots available!!!

3 Hand-Washing Strategies For Littles 🧼🤟

Hey Hey.

So tell me if this resonates. You tell your child to go wash their hands, in their perfect little world they rub the soap in their palms for 2.5 seconds and then a quick rinse. Half the time they don't even rinse long enough to get the soap off and just want to walk away with wet soapy hands. Good luck even getting them to dry that wet soap off.

Right? Right!

How many times out of 10 does this result in some kind of struggle. I'd say about 11. We're going to change that (keep reading)

It's now more important than ever that we're teaching our kids how to effectively wash their hands. We need to know that when we send them back into the world they have this skill down pat. Germs aren't going anywhere anytime soon.   

If there's one skill you're going to teach your kid while their home, the MOST important skills is how to wash their hands. This will be WAYYYYYY more valuable to them than counting to 100 or knowing the alphabet forwards and backwards. This skill will keep them healthy.

Here are 3 strategies to teach effective hand washing, without a struggle;

1. Always start off with a rinse. Once the hands are wet and the soap has been dispensed into your child's hands TURN THE WATER OFF! They can't quickly rinse if there's no water to rinse with. This has been the biggest game changer for my kids! Once the water has been turned off they need to lather for at least 20 SECONDS.

2. To help that 20 seconds pass without a fight, make it fun! Sing a song with them, put a timer on, do a hand washing dance, teach them how to count in a different language, get them to march on the spot, whatever it takes to make it fun.... MAKE IT FUN!

3. Teach them a solid hand washing routine so they are washing their hands the exact same way every time. The best way to do this is with a step by step visual so everyone in the home is following the same routine. I call this the "hand washing dance- our palm and fingers have moves". Here's the routine I use with my kids. Download and print this visual. Stick in on the wall or mirror where your kid washes their hands the most. I suggest putting one at every sink in your home. Feel free to forward this on to other parents.

 Let me know if you have any questions about this. Once you print this and put it up in the home take a pic and tag me on Instagram @cori_stern so I can see you've done your homework!

I really value your feedback. Communication is really important to me- I'd love to hear from you. Reply to this email and let me know what kind of strategies you want to receive more of. 

If you are struggling at home with your kid's behaviour then I want you to book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can talk about getting some support in place for you.

Happy Hand Washing! You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you are a 2016 parent then make sure to grab your ticket to Transitioning Into Kindergarten event. It's taking place May 3-6, ONLINE. Limited spots available!!!

3 ways to prep yourself for a month of parenting while social distancing

Welcome April! Now that it’s official that the kids are home for the month. Here are 3 strategies I’m using to set myself up for a successful month with them. I’m going to make the most out of this because it’s not often we get to all spend so much quality time together. I’m using these 3 strategies in an effort to reduce the overwhelm and stress in my home

Here they are…

1. Set up a Calendar- I'm using a calendar system with my kids to help build structure and predictability for the month. I'm a huge fan of My Starry Chart, which is an interactive responsibility board game for kids. I'm doubling it up this month also as a functional calendar. Each of my kids have chosen 5 household responsibilities they will be focusing on this month (which by the way is super empowering for them) so we will be rewarding them using the chart. We are also celebrating a lot of birthdays this month so we've made sticky notes for each bday and put them on the calendar.  I will be incorporating some literacy and math into the calendar- we will be working on counting (1-20 for my son who is almost 4) and skip counting (by 2, and 5 for my daughter who is almost 6). I'm also going to have my daughter start a journal so she will use the calendar to write in the date every day.

2. Set Learning Goals- I've done some goal setting so I have a bit of structure to work with. I've made a list of 5 new skills that I want each of my kids to learn this month. You can choose as many as you think are realistic for your family. Some are academic, some are life skills, some are motor development skills like cutting and using a fork while eating. Don't feel pressure that is has to be academic all day every day. There is so much value in teaching your child relevant life skills. No joke, one of my goals is to work on simply 'waiting'- patience is a big one for my son. 

3. Online Activity Routine- I've been completely overwhelmed by the amount of resource available online for kids to learn, to the point where I just stopped paying attention to what's available out there. Not the best coping mechanism but desperate times calls for desperate measures. So what I've done is I've picked two online learning activities/week for each for my children to do. They will be doing them at the same times each week to help build routine and structure. This helps with the mom guilt big time since I know that we have structured learning time set up.

We're all in this together, there's no need to feel alone here.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. if you have any questions about The PPC you can reply to this email or book in a FREE 30 minute call to chat. Happy to answer any of your questions. The deadline to sign up in Sunday at 9:00pm (EST)

#1 Strategies For Reducing Stress At Mealtime

Today I'm sharing my #1 MUST that ALL parents need to know about feeding their child.

This is my #1 MUST for reducing any stress around mealtime.

This is my #1 MUST for raising an intuitive eater

This is my #1 MUST for avoiding and curbing picky eating.

On a sale from 1-10 how much struggle do you experience with mealtime?

There's nothing worse than taking the time to prepare a nice meal just to have your kid refuse it (been there).

There's nothing worse than spending money on food to have it thrown out in the garbage.

There's nothing worse than having to make 5 different meals every mealtime to cater to each person's preferences- so stressful!!!

Here it is!!!

1 single strategy that will be a game changer for you. 

promise. 

Here's to stress-free meals from here on in!

You’ve got this!

Cori

Potty Training Magic- 4 Strategies to get your child comfortable on the toilet.

The time will come for your kid to ditch the diapers and start using the potty,, but this transition is definitely not an easy one. The first thing you should be focusing on to successfully potty train your kid is getting them comfortable and relaxed while sitting on the toilet. If they aren’t experiencing this kind of environment, you can’t expect them to eliminate anything. They will not budge!

So here is some potty training magic for you! Below you’ll find 4 tried, tested, and true strategies that you can use to relax your kid while they’re on the toilet:  

Strategy #1: Glitter Jar

My kids have been loving glitter jars lately! They are super easy to make, fun to use, and most importantly they’re cost effective. All you’ll need is: a plastic or glass bottle (preferably plastic since it’s safer), water, clear glue, and a whole bunch of glitter. Throw all of that into the bottle and voila you have yourself a glitter jar! It’ll be super calming for your kid to watch the glitter fall.  

Strategy #2: Projector Toys 

Another go-to I use with my kids are projector toys, which can come in all shapes and sizes. All you have to do is turn the bathroom light off, click the on switch, and colourful projector lights will be all over your walls. No worries if you don’t have a projector toy, flashlights and laser beam pens work just as well!

Strategy #3: Music

Listening to music is extremely relaxing on your kid’s mind and body. Music can go as far as slowing their heart rate to make them more at ease while sitting on the toilet. You can include them in the process and make a playlist of their favourite songs and then they can listen to it whenever they use the bathroom.  

Strategy #4: Moonlite Story Projector 

Moonlite is a story book projector for your mobile phone and it has been a game changer in my house! You simply clip the photo-reel onto your phone’s camera and project your kid’s favourite story books onto the walls. It’s a total win-win situation since they’ll also be exercising their brain!

My one piece of advice to you is to remember that what works for one might not work for another. It’s best to think first about what relaxes your child on a daily basis and then introduce that into the bathroom environment. 

 If you need more comprehensive support around toilet training then book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can start developing a plan for you.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. for additional parenting strategies and support make sure to join my online community Behave it or NOT! or follow along on Instagram @cori_stern

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Spending Quality Family Time Over The Holidays

Holiday season is in full swing. 

Whether you are going away on vacation, hanging at home for a staycation, or just taking a few days off of work- this is the perfect time to take advantage and spend some quality time together as a family. 

This is your time to make some amazing memories, start new traditions, or revisit established ones.

Regardless, the Learning Specialist in me is always trying to find ways to keep my kids learning new things in fun and engaging ways. I like to build this into our quality family time, both over the holiday season and summer vacation.

The secret here is to give them fun and motivating activities to do that incorporate some of the goals and skills they are working on in school. Sometimes, I’ll create a calendar to plan out different activities, spacing them throughout the holidays. Here are five of my favourites that you can try out.  Each of these activities can be tailored to suit any child’s age and abilities.

1. Baking– Pull out that favourite cookbook of yours or go online with your kids and find a recipe that seems to be a crowd pleaser. Not only is baking a fun activity for the family, it incorporates a bunch of different learning skills across different curriculum areas. Baking integrates math (measuring ingredients), decoding and reading comprehension (reading and understanding the recipe), skills for following directions (following instructions) and health and safety concepts. If you have kids that are not reading yet, you can find many resources that have visual recipes instead of written recipes. The best part about this activity is that you end up with something really yummy in the end! I highly recommend this activity for kids who are learning to eat new and different foods- there’s no better way to introduce your child to new foods. 

2. Find A New Hobby– Sit down with your kids and brainstorm a list of hobbies that are not currently a part of your daily life. The holidays are a great time to try something new! These hobbies can range from crafting, playing sports, scrapbooking, cooking, photography, board games, DIY projects, gardening, card games, painting, yoga and the list goes on…. Challenge yourself and your kids to dive into a new hobby that is likely out of your comfort zone. Picking up a new hobby means learning new skills. Remember to choose something that is suitable so that everyone in the family can participate. 

3. Library Scavenger Hunt- When’s the last time you were at the library? A lot of families might not frequent the library as much as they used to in the past now that reading resources are so easily accessible online. The library is a wonderful place for tactile learning experiences. Why not take advantage of this and send your kiddies off on a scavenger hunt throughout the library? Start off by creating a list of things for them to search for in different books. I would advise creating a list that is broken down by people, places and things. For example, on your people list might be a princess, a dog, a mother and a baby. On your places list might be a farm, a school, a park and a shopping mall. Lastly, on your things list might be a bicycle, a sandbox and a tree. Once again, if your kids are at the stage where they are not reading yet, you can create a visual list for them by finding images online and pasting them into a word processing document. Print it off and you are ready to go! The person that finds the most items from the list in a given amount of time wins a prize! 

4. Make a Movie or Documentary- Nowadays kids seem to be quite motivated by technology. There is a lot of great value that technology brings to the world of education and learning. The best part about this is that there’s a lot of technology out there that makes it easy for kids to participate. This activity is great because you can stretch it over a few days. Have your kids create a script. You can provide them with guidelines for the script based on the writing skills they are working on in school. If they are too young to be physically writing stories, have them create them orally and jot them down as they share them with you.  Give them the option to exercise their imagination by either writing a non-fiction story or a documentary. Once they have written the story, they can put together their cast and sets and get filming. Filming can be done on any smartphone, tablet or a good old video camcorder. Once they have created their masterpiece, it’s time to call in the troops for the big screening. Pop some popcorn and sit back as your kids present their feature film. You are guaranteed to have very happy and proud kiddos once they complete this project.

5. Be a Tourist- One last activity that I highly recommend trying out is being a tourist in your own city. As parents, our lives are often so busy with day-to-day stuff that we sometimes don’t get much opportunity to burst out of our bubble. Touring your own city can provide a great geography and history lesson for your kids. Do a walking city tour, visit historical sites, get on the ‘hop-on, hop-off bus’ (if your city offers one). Check out a local museum, art gallery or science center. If you live in a multicultural city, you can consider visiting different restaurants or markets that represent those different cultures in your city. Go online and see if your city is hosting any special events for the holiday season that are family friendly. If you live in a very small city or town, you can always consider a road trip to a neighbouring city. Don’t forget to bring your camera!

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Teaching Gratitude Over The Holidays

It’s officially December! Whaaaaaat?!?! How the heck did that happen. 

Here we are! I’ve been hearing Christmas music on the radio for a few weeks now 😂.

The holidays are upon us.

Every year around this time I have the same thought pop up in my mind.

What do I want to teach my kids about the holidays? 

Should I put a lot of emphasis on the religious stuff? 

The traditional stuff? 

The cultural stuff?

How should I leverage this opportunity to support my child’s growth and development???

So far we’ve had a mix of the above make its way into our home over the holidays, and it's worked for us.

Now, aside from all the uncertainty around the religious, traditional, and cultural stuff that I should be introducing my children to, the one thought in my head that has been MOST consistent year to year is this idea around teaching gratitude. 

Aside from modelling this day to day, the holidays are a fantastic opportunity to teach our children about gratitude. 

To preface all of this…. Let’s quickly talk about the topic of gifting & abundance.

How many toys does your child have that they NEVER EVER play with?

How much clutter does the abundance of toys in your house occupy?

Does your child play with a new toy for a few days and then completely forget about it?

When you try to get rid of toys does your child all of a sudden act like it's their most favourite toy EVER?

What the heck are we teaching our children by giving them an abundance of gifts all at once? or big grand gifts that are just over the top. Does it become more about us than them?

Isn't your child more into the box or wrapping paper than the actual toy??

How can we teach the concept of appreciation & gratitude when there's such an abundance, and set expectations around gifting this time of the year. Truth is...It becomes really really hard. 

So in light of this, here are 3 things you can try out to avoid the abundance and really focus on what matters; appreciation & gratitude for what you have and what you get. 

In my books- it's always going to be quality over quantity! 

1. Experiences over material items - if any gift givers are asking you for input, recommend gifting an experience vs. a toy. This is a great way for children to be out in the world learning all types of skills and building memories. This year my kids got tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil from their grandparents. Last year I bought my cousins' kids gift certificates to the movies. In the past I've also done tickets to the aquarium, zoo, science centre, & Canada's Wonderland. Now, this can be a win-win if the person gifting the experience wants to enjoy the experience with your child- they take your child out & you get a bit of a break! #momwin

2. Stash & Store - This is my go-to around holidays and birthdays. When my children get an abundance of stuff all at once, I literally hand them 1-2 new items and stash the remaining items away in storage. Out of sight, out of mind! I now have a bank of new toys and activities that I can either pull out on a rainy day or use as a reward for exceptional behaviour. The point is, they come out very slowly over time. This gives them the opportunity to play with their new toys and appreciate them without being distracted by 1000 others.

3. Donate - If you know your child is receiving an abundance of toys and there's no way to avoid it, then build in a pay-it-forward system. Find local charities that take toy donations over the holidays. Have your child physically go with you and donate a toy to someone in need. To make this meaningful, discuss with them the importance about donating toys. This is a great way to teach gratitude. Our preschool has a local toy drive every year so we always load up a bag of unused toys and all head over together to drop them off. You can go one step further and have them donate something they actually like or care about. Giving up something you care about is a very hard skill for a child- this is a great opportunity to strengthen that skill!

I’d love to hear what you think about these ideas. Hit reply and let me know. If you are taking your child to donate stuff- take a pic and tag me on instagram (@cori_stern) or post it in Behave it or NOT! so I can send you over a virtual high five. 

Make this holiday count!

You’ve got this!

Cori

P.s. If you’re feeling stressed about the holidays and need a few strategies to get you through then book in a FREE 30 min call so we can chat. 

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